Wednesday, February 1, 2012

That was the plan.

(random winter photography)

Six months ago, 
I was about to adopt a toddler. I was about to enter a whole new journey of parenting an adopted special needs child. I was about to have five children. I was also about to start our sixth year of homeschooling, with three kids at home while the oldest spread her homeschooled wings and flew off to highschool. I was about to begin another year in leadership at Community Bible Study with a group of women who had grown near and dear to my heart over the past year. 

That was the road before me.  
That was the plan.  
Three very good things.  



Then it all came crashing down.  In a matter of weeks, everything changed.  Heart wrenching decisions completely altered the course.  In one tumultuous swoosh of God’s design, the good and worthy and excellent plans for the future came to a screeching halt.

We would not be adopting Levi.  We would not be homeschooling.  I would not be in leadership at CBS.

BAM.
Plans were shattered.
I was shattered.
And it was exactly what I needed.


Yes, I needed a good shattering of a lot of junk.  God, of course, knew it.

I also needed a shattering of a lot of good stuff.  

Even the "good" stuff in our lives can sometimes be the "wrong" stuff.

At the time, all these decisions and changes seemed so sudden and urgent.  But the reality is, we prayed for many years about adoption.  We prayed for many years about homeschooling our children.  For many years we sought God's will and prayed for God's direction in all these things.
  
Why then are we so surprised when God does exactly that?



Yes, it hurt a little (a lot). It took time to see through the mess of emotions.  God's message was clear.
Wait. Rest. Be still.  He is the one taking the shattered pieces and making something beautiful.
~ ~ ~
When it becomes clear that God has rocked your world, your head spins a little.  
When it becomes clear that He is lovingly and tenderly putting you all back together 
into the vessel he always had in mind,
well, 
your heart spins a little.



5 comments:

  1. your willingness to be avaiable and ready for the potter is beautiful. The way you articulate the emotional components of the shattered plan, inspiring and honest. Pray for you often, miss you too! but so glad to hear that God's Isaiah 43 is perhaps what is happening in your lives.

    For I am about to do something new.

    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

    I will make a pathway through the wilderness.

    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

    ~Isa. 43:19

    As always, thanks for sharing your journey Kristi.

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  2. Beautiful response, Kim. So true. Kristi, your honesty in sharing your journey with the Lord today made me smile. He is so good. He loves you so much that he doesn't just want what is good...but what is best. I see Him in you! Loving and missing you!

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  3. Thanks for sharing Kristi. Sometimes God turns our world upside down and leads us in an entirely new direction. Painful process at times but our greatest blessings are often the result of our greatest hardships. Clay in the Potter's hands!

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  4. This was a sweet post. He makes all things new, He retores what is lost. He is good, all the time! I wish you lived closer to me!

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