Monday, August 22, 2011

Difficult Subject. Difficult Day.


We are not adopting Levi.

I'd like to tell you all about it in a neat little package that explains everything and makes perfect sense. But I can't. I'd like write with hope... and faith... and trust... and claim the promise to "prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  But I can't. I believe the words in my head, but they haven't quite reached my heart yet.

Don't get me wrong.  We have peace in the decision. But we still mourn.

So please forgive me if I seem a little silent on the subject for a while.


Since we are already on a difficult subject, can I tell you something else? 

Maybe someday I'll write about it. But for now, I'm just going to keep it simple. Very simple. 

Today is the day my parents died. 

I was 18 the summer of the accident.

Next Saturday is my 40th birthday.

It's also the day of the funeral--the day my parents were buried.

You can probably imagine how much I love my birthday.


You still need your mom and dad when you're 18...maybe more than ever.

You still miss them when you are 40...maybe more than ever. 


  1. Mom, I miss your mom and dad, too.

  2. Oh my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry for your loss of Levi, and your parents. You know grief is not my friend, I can imagine you don't care for it's company either. I will be praying, and I am thankful that you have peace.

  3. Thank you for the sweet picture of you and our dear parents. My heart is heavy for you. I remember. I love you, little sister.

  4. Hi Kristi,
    I remember, too. I've never really forgotten that sorrowful day for you, for our church, for our community. The one word, WHY, still haunts me when I think of this situation. . . as it echoes through so many other situations since that time. Thinking of you.
    Jen Graeser Dornbush

  5. Friendy,

    I'm filled with hope that God has made his purpose clear to you regarding Levi. Remember, he already knew all of this. He still has a plan. He still has a hope for the little guy. And you.

    I'm sorry to hear about this week. It's sad, that's just all there is to it. I'll be praying for an extra shot of grace.